Briefings
Standing Calm in the Storm
This is an extract from an interview with Carol Sherriff on how facilitators, coaches and professionals can stand calm in the storms they face. It was recorded for the first Riders on the Storm International Summit.
Carol, why do so many coaches and facilitators find it difficult to do what they do?
Carol: Facilitators, coaches and similar professionals are usually called into organisations at stormy times. when things are changing, sometimes when things are going quite badly wrong. Through their professional skills, they have to be able to help their clients ride those storms.
But, of course, we're not just our profession. Most of us in some way or other earn our living - whether we run our own businesses, we work in individual practice, or we're part of a larger organisation. So, we also face storms in the business of doing what we do.
Third are your personal storms, and I see those in two ways. Some of those are external to your practice. For example, one storm I had to deal with myself was my son left home for university. That was a storm that I knew was coming and was very positive - storms are not necessarily negative, but they are there. They are a process of change. My son went off to university and all of a sudden my life had changed, and I was trying to operate with my clients in a process of change. So, there's that kind of personal change in your own life. And there’s also how you as an individual react within any facilitated session or coaching session. What pushes your personal buttons?
What practical things can facilitators, coaches and other professionals do?
Carol: I found four things that really work. I found them both through looking at the research evidence as well as personal experience and working with other facilitators and coaches.
The four things you need are: to breathe; to relax; to take a different perspective; and to get yourself into a good state at any time.
The first thing is to breathe. When we are suddenly startled or fearful over a long time, we hold our breath. So, the first thing you have to do in that situation is breathe. One technique that really works for people is called ha-breathing. This means filling your chest with air and then letting it go so it rumbles over your throat – haa. That has an extraordinary effect because it makes you relaxed but also more energetic. Its useful before a session, particularly if you know it's going to be a little bit stressful, Just three or four times will have your airways opened up and you'll be breathing nice and evenly.
Action number two is to relax - easier said than done, of course if something takes you by surprise or shocks you in a session. We used to think that when human beings were fearful or startled, we had a ‘fight or flight ‘response. But there's now evidence that we have a ‘freeze’ response as well. One of the reasons we freeze is because we get information overload, with too much coming into our system so it becomes overheated and ‘jangles’. I'm sure people recognise that feeling. So, you need to breathe, and then to relax. When we’re in the moment usually our shoulders go right up around our ears and it makes your voice terribly squeaky and uncertain. So, relax your shoulders, expand your chest and plant your feet firmly on the ground so you feel grounded and connected.
Those are the two physical things that you can do.
The third one is about changing your perspective. In that moment of ‘fight, flight, freeze’ we become locked into a view that ‘this is dangerous’ or something similar. It helps to take a different perspective. I call it ‘standing in someone else’s shoes —an ability to step back and look at the situation more dispassionately. In the moment, you need to move. When you're suddenly aware that you've ‘frozen’, it’s good literally to take a step back and in your mind’s eye, look at yourself and the situation you’re in. That will usually give you an insight that you haven't had before. If you don't get the insight the first time, take another step back. Our minds work with our bodies. It sounds very simple but it’s very effective. Equally, if there is a situation that happened some time ago and still troubles you it helps to stand for a moment as though you were there, then take a step back and look at yourself and the group and what was going on. Just allow yourself to notice something you didn't see, hear of feel at the time.
I've named the fourth one the circle of well-being. This means paying attention to the times when you’re doing really well - when you're at your best, in your flow, and the whole session is going really well - and noticing what that feels like in your body. We tend to do the opposite. We pay attention to mistakes, to situations where we were less than comfortable. Then another time, you see a warning sign that this may not be going quite as you planned, and what floods back are all those times when it went wrong before. But you don’t want that. You want all the good times when you were magnificent and it went right. So I encourage people to notice when they feel really good in a session, when they’re delighted: very pleased with what the other people are doing and feeling okay in themselves. I encourage them to have as a memory what that feels like and be able to recall it.
Find out more about Standing Calm in the Storm
To obtain the complete transcript of the interview, please sign into Wilson Sherriff's information service.
You can purchase the Riders on the Storm Summit eBook for £19.00 here
We run a one day workshop on Standing Calm in the Storm, for further details email Carol Sherriff direct.